WHAT SHAPES WHO WE ARE AND IS IT POSSIBLE TO ADAPT YOUR PERSONALITY?
Have you ever thought about what it is that makes us who we are? Is it the genes we inherited from our parents? Is it the good or bad upbringing we experienced as children or teens? Is it the schools we were privileged to attend? Or perhaps the good or traumatic experiences we might have gone though in our lifetimes? The truth is it is a combination of all of those and dozens of other things!
Recent studies have also revealed traits that are common to people who have similar levels of brain chemicals (hormones or neuro-transmitters) in their systems. (We all have these by the way; it’s what makes us tick!) Depending on how much Testosterone, Dopamine, Oestrogen or Serotonin you have floating around your body and your brain, scientists can make accurate predictions about what your personality will be like. Or to put it another way, this can be used to understand your behaviour.
At PersonaCue, we are all about helping you understand what you are intuitively already noticing about people right in front of you all day. We then also teach you how to adapt your style to relate comfortably to any other person.
So two questions are staring us in the face here: firstly, is it possible to read someone’s personality, and secondly, is it possible to change your own to personality to fit in with someone else’s? Why would you do that, you might ask. Well, mostly to get on with them and to get what you want. As you work through our material, you will discover the answer to both questions is yes!
On the question of ‘reading someone’, we would not be exaggerating if we said that, in fact, your subconscious mind is like a super-computer in its ability to pick up on the slightest little nuances that you didn’t even know it is noticing. All you feel is a like or a dislike for the person, or a warm feeling of trust, or a chill down your spine. In the context of dating, we call this chemistry, or the absence thereof. We are going to give you the ability to consciously also realise what it is you are seeing when you get that ‘gut feeling’ about someone.
Now let’s look at the second question as to whether it is possible to adapt your personality. Once you’ve ‘read’ someone’s personality, you can actually quickly change your own personality to mirror theirs so that you can get on and create a strong rapport! The honest truth is that your subconscious mind is entirely suggestible and you can really be any personality you want to for short bursts of time. Let me give you a few examples: can you remember a time when you were extremely happy? Can you recall that time right now and feel all the feelings you felt, see what you saw and hear what you heard? If your answer was yes, you must already have temporarily taken on that state to ‘feel’ it. If this is not the normal you, you just temporarily changed your personality. I could ask you countless examples like ‘can you remember a time when you were sad, focused, determined, creative, caring, etc.’, and if you can answer ‘yes’ to any of those, you can also temporarily change your personality to any one of those states.
PersonaCue is a tool that progressively teaches you how to do that in easy and consistent ways in order to get on with others and to get what you want. The word ‘persona’ is used in the theatre to describe a role that someone takes on, and the word ‘cue’ means the trigger that an actor would use to begin acting in the given persona.
You will notice in some of our reports that we suggest which other personas you would best get on with as a date, and whom you should avoid as you are likely to be incompatible with them. That is not a contradiction to when we say you could take on any persona that you like; you can, but for short bursts of time. Here are some examples where changing your persona short term can come in handy. For example, when you sense you need to change your tune to get past a pesky customs officer who is questioning your right to enter a country, or when you are negotiating a healthy discount on a substantial purchase.
Whilst you can also do this in a dating situation, doing this indiscriminately is more likely to get you into a one-night-stand than into a relationship. In the medium and long term, anyone will be able to see roughly who the real you is. So in a relationship it is important to understand both yours and your man’s primary and secondary personality style, and then gauge how that will play itself out in everyday life.
Where the two of you dramatically differ in a certain area, one of you will obviously need to adapt. Here is where the ability to make deliberate short term changes to your behaviour becomes invaluable. We suggest that you make all the effort first rather than announcing to your man that ‘he must change’ in a certain context. That may not get you very far.
Where the two of you are completely similar, there will be gaping gaps, especially in a cohabiting situation, or where there are children (or elderly grandparents) depending on you. Here again one of you needs to step up to the plate and cover areas that neither of you are naturally good at. Here are a range of such areas that may need covering: budgeting, doing the chores, helping children with schoolwork, being the decision-maker, the person who handles all the difficult conversations, the host or hostess at parties, etc.
We have posed the question if it is possible to change your personality. At PersonaCue we show you how to make such snap changes, we help you understand your base personality so you know what you are adapting from, and we help you understand your man so that you know what you are adapting to and when this will be necessary.
Have you started this fascinating process yet? If not, why don’t you take our short personality questionnaire and we will take you on a mind-blowing journey of learning how to make any relationship in your life work!